Tag: Mothers

Amusing

Cat Adopts Ducklings

Cat Adopts Ducklings

 
Cat Adopts Ducklings
Here is a story that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Enjoy!

On the BBC series “Animal Odd Couples”, wildlife biologist and host Liz Bonnin finds a cat who adopts three ducklings shortly after giving birth to kittens. The new mother now has a litter of six babies (three kittens and three ducklings) to look after.

Source…

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Magnet

Rubber ChickenA teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does.

The next day in a written test, she included this question: “My full name has six letters. The first one is M. I am strong and attractive. I pick up things. What am I?”

When the test papers were turned in, the teacher was astonished to find that almost 50 percent of the students answered the question with the word “Mother.”

 

 

Funny Jokes

Yo Mama’s So Fat…

  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she couldn’t fit in a satellite photo.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington’s nose
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she goes to the beach, kids shout: “Free Willy! free Willy!”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she’s got her own zip code
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, people jog around her for exercise
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago…
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get group insurance.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she jumped in air and got stuck.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she wears Maclom X shirt, helicopters land on her.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a “Caution! Wide Turn” sign.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she steps on a scale, it read “One at a time, please.”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, I swerved to avoid her in the road and ran out of gas.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat in the rain, people run to her and yell “Taxi!”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when she tripped on 10th St., she landed on 22nd St..
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, if she was a superhero, she would be “incredible bulk.”
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, at the zoo the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, she stepped on rainbow and made Skittles
  • Yo Mama’s so fat, I guess we know what’s eating Gilbert Grape.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on a talking scale, and it said “GET THE HELL OFF!!”
  • Yo mama’s so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she stepped on my cat’s tail, now I call him “Beaver”.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I climbed on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, I ran around her twice, and got lost.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, instead of wearing Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levis 1002’s.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got more rolls than a bakery.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her as a new world.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she could sell shade.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when I have sex with her, I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, she bumps into people when she’s sitting down.
  • Yo mama’s so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Guess Which One I’m Going To Marry

Rubber ChickenA young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says,”Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.”

She immediately replies, “The red-head in the middle.”

“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”

“I don’t like her.”

 

 

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