Tag: Michael Jackson
Joke(s) Of The Day
Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: Did you know they’re putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper?
A: Michael Jackson’s hand.
Michael Jackson’s Horrific Autopsy Results
Judging by the autopsy results, it is not Jackson’s death that was so tragic, but his life. This just goes to show that sleeping in a pure oxygen chamber and going out with a surgical mask on has absolutely no potential for elongating ones days on earth.
From The New York Post:
An autopsy on Michael Jackson revealed that the King of Pop’s emaciated body was riddled with needle marks and scars, and his head was virtually bald, it was reported today.
Jackson’s body had wasted away to a mere 112 pounds, and his stomach was completely empty except for partially dissolved pills, according to the London Sun.
His hips, thighs and shoulders were covered with needle wounds, believed to have come from shots of painkillers, and he was wearing a wig when he was found because his hair had been reduced to a “peach fuzz” on his scalp, the report said.
“He was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out, and he had been eating nothing but pills when he died,” a source close to the singer’s entourage told the paper.
“Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show he’d been in terminal decline for some years.”
There were four fresh injections around his heart, presumably from attempts to pump adrenaline into it to jumpstart it, the paper said.
Three of them had penetrated and damaged his heart wall, while a fourth struck his ribs, the paper reported.
He also sustained several broken ribs while authorities administered CPR during his final moments Thursday.
Jackson had one spot above his left ear that was scarred and completely bald – the apparent result of burns sustained when his hair caught fire while he was filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984.
He also had numerous other scars, apparently from plastic surgery.
In addition, he had mysterious bruises on his knees and shins and cuts on his back, possibly indicating a recent fall, the paper said.
Jackson has had two autopsies performed on him: one by the Los Angeles coroner and a private one requested by the family.
The details leaked came from the official autopsy. The Sun didn’t say how it got the information.
Meanwhile, the cardiologist who was Jacko’s private doctor and performed CPR on him did it the wrong way, a Jackson family confidant claimed yesterday.
Dr. Conrad Murray found Jacko on the floor in his rented Los Angeles mansion and put him in a bed, the source said.
Medical experts say that compressions for cardiopulmonary resuscitation must be performed on a hard surface.
“Michael was on the floor first, and they put him on the bed, and then started compressions on the bed,” said the source, who had spoken to a Jackson relative. “What kind of doctor is that?”
In a transcript of the 911 call, the person seeking help says Jackson is “on the bed.” The dispatcher says, “OK, let’s get him down to the floor.”
Edward Chernoff, a lawyer for Murray, yesterday said the doctor found Jackson in his bed with a faint pulse.
Chernoff told The Associated Press that Murray was at the pop icon’s mansion Thursday afternoon when he discovered Jackson and immediately began administering CPR.
“He just happened to find him in his bed, and he wasn’t breathing,” the lawyer said. “Mr. Jackson was still warm and had a pulse.”
Murray, who spoke to cops for three hours on Saturday, is a licensed MD and specializes in cardiology, although he is not board-certified.
Jackson hired Murray last month as he prepared for a grueling 50-date concert series in London that had been set to start in July.
Chernoff also said Murray never prescribed or gave Jackson the powerful painkillers Demerol or OxyContin. He denied reports suggesting Murray gave Jackson an injection of Demerol shortly before his death.
“Dr. Murray has never prescribed nor administered Demerol to Michael Jackson,” Chernoff said. “Not ever. Not that day. Not OxyContin for that matter.”