Joke Of The Day: Man Of The House

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Mar 012013
 

Rubber ChickenA husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be THE Man of Your House.”

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word isLaw. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m done eating my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert.. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want!

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

The wife replied, “The friggin’ funeral director would be my first guess.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Tired Robber

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Feb 222013
 

Rubber ChickenThe judge frowned at the tired robber and said, “Then you admit breaking into the same store on three successive nights?”

”Yes, your honor.”

“And why was that?”

“Because my wife wanted a dress.”

The judge checked his records, “But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!”

“Yes sir. She made me exchange it two times.”
 

Joke Of The Day: Cell Phone Etiquette

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Feb 192013
 

Rubber ChickenAfter a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

“Hi sweetheart, its Eric. I am on the train.”

“Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting”.

“No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss”.

“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.

“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart”

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. When the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said into the phone,

“Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”

Eric doesn’t use his cell phone in public any longer :-)

 

 

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