Joke Of The Day: Mirror, Mirror

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Dec 082013
 
Rubber Chicken A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.

One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says “Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bust-line forty four”.

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her boobs grow to enormous proportions.

Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what has happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says: “Mirror mirror on the door, make my “manhood” touch the floor!”.

Again, there’s a bright flash and both his legs fall off.

 

 

Joke Of The Day: My Best Friend

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Dec 012013
 
Rubber Chicken A Chief is sitting at the bar in the Chief’s club on base, furiously imbibing shots of whiskey. …

One of his shipmates happens to come into the Chief’s club and sees him.

“Lou,” says the shocked friend, “what are you doing? I’ve known you for over fifteen years, and I’ve never seen you take a drink before. What’s going on?”

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the Chief replies, “My wife just ran off with my best friend.”

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

“But,” says the other Chief, “I’m your best friend!”

The Chief turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs……….

“Not anymore! He is!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Finding The Perfect Woman

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Nov 262013
 

Rubber ChickenManny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.

Finally a friend asked him, “What’s the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can’t you find anyone who suits you?”

“No,” Manny replied. “I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them. So I keep on looking!”

“Listen,” his friend suggested, “Why don’t you find a girl who’s just like your dear old Mother?”

Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again.

“So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that’s just like your Mother?”

Manny shrugged his shoulders, “Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends.”

“Excellent! So… Are you and this girl engaged, yet?”

“I’m afraid not. My Father can’t stand her!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Triple Dose Of Viagra

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Nov 232013
 

Rubber ChickenA Man went the doctor’s office to ask for a Triple Dose of Viagra.

The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a triple dose.

‘Why not?’ asked the man.

‘Because it’s not safe,’ replied the doctor.

‘But I need it really bad,’ said the man.

‘Well, why do you need it so badly?’ asked the doctor.

The man said, ‘My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I’ve got to have a triple dose.

The doctor finally relented saying, ‘All right, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.’

On Monday afternoon the man dragged himself into the doctor’s office…his right arm in a sling.

The doctor asked, ‘Good gawd! What happened to you?’

The man said, ‘No one showed up’.
 

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