Joke Of The Day: The Favor

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Jan 172013
 

Rubber ChickenAn elderly man, 82, just returned from the doctors only to find he didn’t have long to live. So he summoned the three most important people in his life to tell them of his fate:

1. His Doctor
2. His Priest
3. His Lawyer

He said, “Well, today I found out I don’t have long to live. So, I have summoned you three here, because you are the most important people in my life, and I need to ask a favor. Today, I am going to give each of you an envelope with $50,000 dollars inside. When I die, I would ask that all three of you throw the money into my grave.”

After the man passed on, the three people happened to run into each other.

The doctor said, “I have to admit I kept $10,000 dollars of his money. He owed me from lots of medical bills. But, I threw the other $40,000 in like he requested.

“The Priest said, “I have to admit also, I kept $25,000 dollars for the church. It’s all going to a good cause. I did, however, throw the other $25,000 in the grave.”

Well the Lawyer just couldn’t believe what he was hearing! “I am surprised at you two for taking advantage of him like that. I wrote a check for the full amount and threw it all in!”

 

Joke Of The Day: From Mice To Lawyers

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Jan 122013
 

Rubber ChickenAt a convention of biological scientists, one prominent researcher remarked to another, “Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?”

“Really?” the other researcher replied. “Why did you switch?”

“Well, for three reasons. First, we found that lawyers are far more plentiful. Second, the lab assistants don’t get so attached to them. And third, there are some things even a rat won’t do.”
 

Joke Of The Day

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Jul 062012
 

Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 112012
 

There were three friends – a lawyer, a doctor and a manager. The three of them were talking about the merits of having a wife vs. the merits of having a mistress.

The lawyer says, “It is more convenient to have a mistress. If you have a wife and want a divorce, there are all sorts of legal issues.”

The doctor remarks: “It is certainly better to have a wife as it gives you a sense of security which in turn lowers your stress and helps you lead a healthy life.”

The manager differs by saying: “I don’t agree with both of you. I think it’s best to have both. So when the wife thinks you’re with the mistress and the mistress believes you are with your wife – you can go to the office and finish some work.”

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 052012
 

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, “Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: “That’s Strange!”