Tooth Fairy Form Letter

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Jul 222011
 

Dear ____________:

Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children’s teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odour
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
(x) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy
( ) you were age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth (x) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit
( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
(x) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following certificate which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near you. Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely,

The Tooth Fairy

Joke Of The Day

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Jul 172011
 

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?

Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Story Of The Day – The Election

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Jul 152011
 

The kids in the neighborhood held an election. The grownups were astonished that a four-year-old had been elected president.

“That boy must be a born leader,” one dad observed. “How does it happen that all you bigger boys voted for him?”

“Well, you see, Dad,” one boy replied, “he cannot very well be secretary because he does not know how to write. He would not do for treasurer because he is not able to count. He would never do for sergeant-at-arms because he is too little to throw anybody out. If we did not choose him for anything, he would feel bad. So we made him president.”

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