Joke Of The Day: A Tub of Ice Cream

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Jan 172026
 
Joke Of The Day: A Tub of Ice Cream The missus brought home a tub of ice cream and asked if I wanted some.

“How hard is it?” I asked.

She cheekily replied, “As hard as your knob when you’re thinking about me naked.”

I said, “Ok, pour me a glass!”

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Leftover Shark

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Jan 162026
 
Joke Of The Day: Leftover Shark One evening, our family was enjoying a newly discovered delicacy…shark steaks. In our enthusiasm, we cooked more than we could eat.

The next day, when I took the remaining steaks out of the refrigerator, the label on the foil-wrapped package caught my eye.

In neat handwriting, my wife had clearly identified the shark leftovers: “Jaws II.”

 

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: $10,000 a Bullet

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Jan 142026
 
Joke Of The Day: $10,000 a Bullet An assassin, who charges 10 grand per bullet, was enjoying a few drinks at his drinking hole when a man approached him.

“Are you the assassin who charges 10 grand per bullet?” the man asks.

“Yes I am” says the assassin.

“Good, good, good, good. Okay. My wife cheating on me. I know this thing. I’ve got 20 grand. Let’s go.”

They drive to the convenience store across the road from the hotel and climb to the roof.

The man points to a window, says they’re in that room.

“Now, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to shoot her in the head. And I want you to shoot him in the dick.”

“You got it” says the assassin, who proceeds to set up a sniper rifle scope, got into position, and point the weapon at the indicated window.

He sits there, not doing anything for a while.

Finally, the man says, “well, are you going to do it or not?”

“Patience my friend. Patience” the assassin replies.

“I might be able to save you ten grand.”