Joke Of The Day

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Jul 282012
 

A deluxe cruise liner was sinking. The captain had to persuade the passengers of every country very tactfully to jump into the sea.

He told the American, “You’ll be a Hero if you jump into the sea.”
He told the English, “a gentleman would certainly jump into the sea.”
He told the German, “It’s a rule to jump into the sea in such conditions.”
He told the Italian, “Women will admire you if you jump into the sea.”
He told the French, “Do not jump into the sea.”
He told the Japanese, “Look, every passenger is jumping into the sea.”

Joke Of The Day

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Jun 082012
 

A Catholic priest, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Italian from New Jersey were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them. The Italian from New Jersey fumed, “What’s with those jerks? We’re waiting fifteen minutes between shots!’

The Indian doctor chimed in, ‘I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such poor golf!’

The Chinese businessman called out, ‘Move it, time is money!’

The Catholic priest said, ‘Here comes the greens keeper. Let’s have a word with him. Excuse me, sir!’ said the priest, ‘What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?’

The greens keeper replied, ‘Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.’

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic priest said, ‘That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.’

The Indian doctor said, ‘Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything that he might be able to do for them.’

The Chinese businessman replied, ‘I think I’ll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!’

The Italian from New Jersey said, ‘Why the f**k can’t they play at night?

The Difference Between Heaven and Hell

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May 302012
 

In Heaven:
The cooks are French,
The policemen are English,
The mechanics are German,
The lovers are Italian,
The bankers are Swiss.

In Hell:
The cooks are English,
The policemen are German,
The mechanics are French,
The lovers are Swiss,
The bankers are Italian.

Italian Artist Paints with Wine

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Feb 062012
 

Wine has been the inspiration of many famous painters throughout the centuries, but Florentine artist Elisabetta Rogai is taking the relationship between the drink of Dionysus and art to a whole new level, by using wine as paint.

Can a painting truly age? The concept was first explored English writer Oscar Wilde, in his book, “The Picture of Dorian Gray”, and now, over a century later, it’s taking a new meaning in the work of Elisabetta Rogai. The Italian painter uses only white and red wine, with no other chemical additives, to create beautiful paintings. This “allows the wine to reproduce on the canvas exactly the same process of ageing that normally takes place inside the bottle,” she explains, adding that “the wine aging, which normally occurs over the years, takes only a few months on the canvas.” The difference between a freshly painted artwork and a three-months-old one is clearly visible; the texture changes and the colors evolve from young purples and cherry reds to more mature tones of amber, orange and brown. Unlike the portrait of Dorian Gray, her works become more beautiful with time.

But Elisabetta Rogai wasn’t the first artist to try and paint with wine. Many others have tried before her, but the results were less than satisfactory, due to a variety of factors. The challenge of removing alcohol through Reverse Osmosis, the density of the wine, chromatic scale limitation, the volatility of alcohol and the possibility of working only on small canvases have been the main reasons why most painters gave up on the idea of using wine as paint. Elisabetta Rogai herself admits it took a long period of research and experimentation, and help from the University of Florence to develop her wine paintings, but the results were definitely worth it. Although she uses regular bottled wine for her paintings she also takes bottles of wine to the Florence University laboratory for processing, and takes home a gooey residue with a texture similar to oil paints.

To keep the aging of the wine going on on indefinitely, until the colors fade almost completely, Elisabetta Rogai has created a natural color fixating system based on water and flour. This leaves the hues unchanged but prevents colors from fading over a certain threshold. Her wine paintings are available for prices starting at € 5,000 ($6,400).

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