Joke Of The Day: Socialist Hell

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May 162013
 

Rubber ChickenA young, ruthless executive died and went to hell.

When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell.

In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, “What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?”

“They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack,” the guard replied.

“And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?”

“The same exact thing,” the guard answered.

“Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?”

“Because in Socialist Hell, they’re always out of oil, whips, and racks!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Surprised in Hell

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Jan 052013
 

Rubber ChickenMy 10-year old asked me, “There are so many people in the world. When they die, is Heaven is going to fill up?”

I replied, “No, that’s most unlikely. The number of people who will actually go there is much smaller than those who think they’ll go there. Hell is full of people who are incredibly surprised.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Atheist Boyfriend

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Sep 092012
 

Rubber ChickenA young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn’t believe in Heaven or Hell.

“Marry him anyway, dear.” the Mother said. “Between the two of us, we’ll show him just how *wrong* he is.”