Heaven And Hell

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Feb 252015
 

Heaven And HellA holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, “Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.”

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man’s mouth water.

But the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, ‘You have seen Hell.’

They then went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man’s mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, “I don’t understand.”

“It is simple” said the Lord, “In this place the people have learned to feed one another.”

 

Joke Of The Day: The Queue

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Dec 242014
 
Rubber Chicken A famous lawyer, who had been a public defender for years, dies. He finds himself standing at the back of an enormous queue outside the gates of Heaven. The queue before him is enormous. The number of people who die in a single day appalls him. He can barely see St Peter sitting up on a podium outside the gates with a large book.

Every now and then St Peter glances down the queue to see how he is going. Suddenly he catches the eye of the lawyer. He looks very surprised. He jumps down from the podium and comes running along the line until slightly out of breath he arrives beside the lawyer.

He embraces him. He pulls him out of the queue and motions for him to come to the front of the queue.

Another person questions what is happening and another angel speaks to the person. Word is passed along the queue and the lawyer is surprised, as people start nodding and clapping. He becomes embarrassed by all the attention and asks St Peter why he is getting the special attention.

St Peter stops suddenly and looks concerned.

“You are a lawyer aren’t you?’

“Yes” the lawyer replies. “Does this happen to all lawyers in heaven?”

“Oh, no, “Said St Peter. “It’s just you are the first one to ever get here.”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Heaven And Hell

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Oct 072014
 
Rubber Chicken Heaven is where:

The police are British,
The cooks are French,
The mechanics German,
The lovers Italian,
It’s all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where:

The chefs are British,
The mechanics French,
The lover’s Swiss,
The police German
It’s all organized by the Italians.

 

 

The Nine New Levels Of Hell

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Sep 082014
 

Dante’s Inferno, a masterpiece of Italian literature, was written in exile with limited access to research materials, 650 years before the Internet. Here’s how Dante would have organized Hell if he could have seen the modern era.

The 9 New Levels Of Hell


The Door to Hell

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Jan 312014
 

While drilling in 1971, Soviet geologists tapped into a cavern filled with natural gas.The ground beneath the drilling rig collapsed, leaving a large hole with a diameter of 70 meters (230 ft). To avoid poisonous gas discharge, it was decided the best solution was burn it off. Geologists had hoped the fire would use all the fuel in a matter of days, but the gas is still burning today. Locals have dubbed the cavern “The Door to Hell”.

The Door To Hell” may sound like a science fiction-horror movie, but it’s not. It is a real place in Turkmenistan.

Hank Green of SciShow explains that in the 1970′s, Soviet scientists found an amazing depot of natural gas, but while attempting to retrieve it accidentally caused the ground to collapse.

The scientists realized it would be better to set the now free methane on fire than let the dangerous, combustible gas vent into the environment.

They thought the gas would be burn up in a few weeks, but 42 years later the crater is still burning.

Source…