Joke Of The Day: Henry Ford Goes To Heaven

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Dec 052013
 
Rubber Chicken Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Ford, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your invention, the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven.”

Ford thinks about it and says, “I wanna hang out with God, himself.”

The befeathered fellow at the gate takes Ford to the Throne Room and introduces him to God.

Ford then asks God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of Woman?”

God says, “Ah, yes.”

“Well,” says Ford, You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There’s too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
4. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust.”

“Hmmm..” replies God, “hold on.” God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result.

The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. “It may be that my invention is flawed,” God replies to Henry Ford, “but according to my Computer, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

 

 

The Robertsons

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Nov 292013
 

The Robertsons

The Robertsons- Duck Dynasty

This is an amazing production from I am Second. If you have a good monitor, watch it in High Definition in full screen mode.

From The Right Scoop:

I just spent the last 30 minutes watching this and I must say it’s quite moving. You might even need a few tissues to get you through a few of the more touching moments as Phil and Kay describe Phil’s walk from the darkness into the light. Not only that, but Jep Robertson also gets real about the worst time in his life when his family finally had to give him an ultimatum to turn him around. And lastly there is Reed Robertson, Jase’s son, who reveals the he almost committed suicide after the show started and explains what happened.

Fans of the Robertsons are now being offered an unprecedented look at their lives before they hit the big-time in an upcoming 30-minute Christian motivational film by I Am Second. In the movie, the Robertsons divulge details about their past demons, opening up about the drinking and infidelity that almost tore them all apart.

“The Robertson’s wanted to share the deeper story beyond their name. We love them on television, but there is so much more to them than that,” filmmaker Scott Mayo told FOX411. “They have this incredible story about their life and faith, and wanted to tell this story to inspire others… Just because they are on TV doesn’t make them perfect.”

After interviewing three generations of the very famous family – Phil, Miss Kay, son Jep and grandson Reed– Mayo said he was surprised at how open and candid the stars were in vocalizing their difficult history.

“Phil lives with a lot of conviction and shared a lot of dark struggles from his past. He did it in a way that was bold and raw,” continued the filmmaker, adding that simply being in the presence of Phil through the production was a profound experience in and of itself. “If there was any silence in the room, he would just start pontificating and laying down some shotgun wisdom.”

In a dimly lit room, Phil begins by opening up about how he initially pushed those trying to introduce him to Jesus away.

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Joke Of The Day: Conversion

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Nov 242013
 

Rubber ChickenA Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it.

“I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian. Rabbi… where did I go wrong?”

“Funny you should come to me,” said the Rabbi. “Like you, I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he comes and tells me he has decided to become a Christian.”

“What did you do?” asked the lawyer.

“I turned to God for the answer,” replied the Rabbi.

“And what did he say?

“He said, “Funny you should come to me…”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Take One Apple

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Nov 212013
 

Rubber ChickenAt a Catholic gathering, the Mother Superior stacked a pile of apples on one end of a table with a sign saying, “Take only one apple please – God is watching.”

On the other end of the table was a pile of cookies on which a student had placed a sign saying, “Take all the cookies you want – God is watching the apples.”
 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Origins Of Human Beings

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Nov 042013
 

Rubber ChickenThere guys were discussing the origins of human beings and where did Adam and Eve come from.

Jack, the British guy, said, “They have to be British, only a gentleman would share his last apple with a woman.”

Pierre, the French guy claimed, “There is no doubt they were French. The French are so good at seducing women.”

Bob, the American commented, “My guess is they were Russian. After all, who else could roam around naked, survive on one apple between the two of them and still feel they were in paradise?”

 

 

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