Joke Of The Day: The Explanation of Life

Joke Of The Day: The Explanation of Life On the first day, God created the dog and said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?” So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said: “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said: “That’s kind of a tough life, you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give you back the other forty?”

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But man said: “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren, and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

 

 

 

 

Goliath and David

An army of Israel looked at Goliath through the eyes of man and said he's too big to beat. David looked at him through the eyes of God and said he's too big to miss.


An army of Israel looked at Goliath through the eyes of man and said he’s too big to beat.

David looked at him through the eyes of God and said he’s too big to miss.

Joke Of The Day: God and Adam

Joke Of The Day: God and Adam One day, God asked Adam how things were going with Eve.

Adam: Pretty good, I guess.

God: You seem to be holding back. Do you have any questions?

Adam: Well, why did you make her so much more beautiful than me?

God: So you would enjoy looking at her.

Adam: And why did you make her skin so much softer than mine?

God: So you would enjoy touching her.

Adam: And why did you make her smell so much better than me?

God: So you would want to be around her all the time. You see, Adam, I made Eve just for you, to make you happy.

Adam: Then why did you make her so stupid?

God: Well Adam, if I had made her any smarter, she never would have slept with a guy like you.

 

 

 

 

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