Joke Of The Day: The Woman

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Oct 152017
 
Joke Of The Day: The Woman One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.”

“What’s the problem, Adam?”, God replies.

“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Adam?”, comes the reply from the heavens.

“Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely.”

“Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a ‘woman’ for you.”

“What’s a ‘woman’, Lord?”

“This ‘woman’ will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.”, replies the heavenly voice.

“Sounds great.”

“She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam.”

“How much will this ‘woman’ cost me Lord?”, Adam replies.

“She’ll cost you your right arm, your right leg, an eye, an ear, and your left testicle.”

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, “Ehhh, what can I get for a rib?”

The rest, as they say, is history.

 

 

 

Joke Of The Day: It’s God’s Will

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Feb 042017
 
Rubber Chicken Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His Wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His Wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch.

And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise.

God looked down and saw that it was good

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.