Joke Of The Day

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Dec 262010
 

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,”Seven Points.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”

The old man replied, “It’s fart football!”

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says -“Touchdown, tie score!”

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says “Touchdown, I’m ahead 14 to 7!”

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score!”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14!”

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, “What the heck was that?”

The old man replied, “Half-time, Switch sides!”

Farting Democrats Christmas

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Dec 192010
 

Video Description:

As Christmas 2010 approaches, the nation’s top Democrats prove they have no gas shortage, and that they truly believe that is better to give than to receive. Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Barney Frank, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi join forces, in much the same way that they’ve teamed up to shove a last-minute 1900-page Omnibus Spending Bill into taxpayer’s stockings (among other places) for Christmas.

Fart Extinguisher

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Dec 082010
 

Are you looking for the perfect Christmas gift? Well look no further!

The holidays are filled with family, food, friends, and that person you know who passes large amounts of gas. To help this joyous season stink a little less invest in the the Fart Extinguisher from the NeatoShop.

Joke Of The Day

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Nov 172010
 

An elderly couple are attending church services.

About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband.

It says, “I just let out a silent fart, What do you think I should do?”

He scribbles back, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

Boy Gets Detention for Farting on School Bus

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Nov 052010
 

11-year-old Christian Summers thinks playing video games is fun. According to his school bus driver, he also thinks passing gas is fun. She didn’t find his flatulence so funny.

“She’s like, ‘I’m gonna sign you up. I’m gonna sign you up’. I’m like, ‘It was an accident,” said Summers.

For letting it rip on the ride home, Christian was slapped withn an hour of detention at Thoreau Park Elementary.

“I thought it was pretty dumb,” said Summers.

It seems breaking wind is now breaking the rules. The detention slip reads, quote “Thinks it’s funny to pass gas while on the van. I’ve told him it’s not funny, nor polite to the others in the van. While others scream, he laughs.”

“The normal reaction is to giggle about it and everyone else is going ewww,” said Jodi Hochevar, a family friend. “But, I don’t think it was definitely not worth being disciplined over.”

“We laugh when it happens,” said Christian’s father.

The district and school officials were asked for an interview, but they passed.

A district spokesman did, however, send an e-mailed response:
“Matters involving student discipline are resolved by building administration in accordance with established district guidelines and policies.”

Christian now fears his flatulence. If he’s caught passing gas on the bus again, he could get four or five days of detention.

“Depends on how much more gas he has,” said his father.

Now he’s secretive when letting one slip on his small school bus.

“When I have to pass gas, I have to cover myself because it won’t stink up the bus,” said Christian.

His father says “This shouldn’t have even been a write-up.”

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