Joke Of The Day

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Sep 302010
 

A dog lover, whose dog was a bitch and ‘in heat’, agreed to look after and house her neighbors’ male dog while they were away on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep them apart, but as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage as so frequently happens when they mate.

Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the veterinarian, who answered in a very grumpy voice.

After having the problem explained to him, the vet said, “Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and be able to withdraw.”

“Do you think that will work?” she asked. “It just worked for me” he replied.

The Rolling Memorial

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Sep 292010
 

The Rolling Memorial is a semi-trailer truck painted with a mural intended to honor the victims of the 9/11 attacks. The project was conceived by John Holmgren of Shafer, Minnesota after hearing the song “Have You Forgotten” by country singer Darryl Worley. Holmgren has been ‘pulled over’ numerous times just so the troopers can get their picture taken with the truck.


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Ten Thoughts to Ponder

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Sep 142010
 

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky… not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.