Tag: Drinking

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Keeping Up The Family Bond

Rubber Chicken A man walked into a small Irish pub and ordered three beers. Bartender was surprised, but he served that man three beers. One hour later the man ordered three beers again.

The next day the same story happens, the man orders three beers and drinks quietly at a table. This repeats several times and shortly after all the town is whispering about that man, who is ordering three beers at once.

A couple of weeks later, the bartender decides to clear this out and inquires: “I do not want tot pry, but could you explain, why do you order three beers all the time?”.

The man replied: “It seems strange, isn’t it? You see, my two brothers live abroad at the moment, one – in France and another – in Italy. We have made an agreement, that every time we go to pub each of us would order extra two beers and it will help keeping up the family bond”.

Soon all the town have heard about the man‘s answer and liked it a lot. The man became a local celebrity, residents of the town were telling this story to newcomers or tourists and even invited them to that pub to look at Three Beer Man.

However, one day the man came to pub and ordered only two beers, not three as usual. The bartender served him with bad feeling. All that evening the man orders and drinks only two beers. The very next day all the town is talking about these news, some people pray for the soul of one of the brothers, others quietly grieve.

When the man comes to pub the next time and orders two beers again, the bartender asks him: “I would like to offer condolences to you, due to the death of your dear brother..”

The man considers this for a moment and then replies: “Oh, you are probably surprised that I order only two beers now? Well, my two brothers are alive and well.. It‘s just because I, myself, made a decision to give up drinking…”

 

 

Funny Jokes

A Message From The Wife

Got home real late last night after a full day of riding Motorcycles and drinking with the guys, and my wife left a message in the kitchen:

A Message From The Wife - Eat More Fruit

I got her message loud and clear!

…she wants me to eat more fruit.

Bless her heart!



Jokes

Joke Of The Day: The Hangover

Rubber Chicken Jack wakes up at home with a raging hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits up and notices his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless and clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!”

He’s mighty confused: why isn’t he in trouble? He takes the aspirin and gets up.

When he gets to the kitchen, sure enough: there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

“Good morning,” Jack says. “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well, you came home around 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

Even more confused, Jack asks, “So, why is mom being so incredibly nice to me?”

His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, ‘Get your hands off me, bitch! I’m married!'”

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Shots

Rubber Chicken A man goes into a bar, takes a seat, and orders five shots.

The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them up on the bar.

The man downs them all quickly. He finishes the last one and calls out, “Four shots, please!”

The bartender serves up four shots and lines them on the bar.

The man downs them all. Then he belches loudly, sways slightly on the stool, and orders three. And one after the other, he knocks them back.

“Two shots!” he calls, and the bartender places two shots in front of him. Down they go. As the man slams the last one down on the bar, he says, “One shot bartender.”

So the bartender fills the glass. The man sits there, staring at it for a moment, trying to focus. Then he looks at the barman and says, “You know, it’s a funny thing, but the less I drink, the drunker I get.”

 

 

How To Information

Science-Approved Hangover Cure

You can’t argue with science!

Old Sober

“Old Sober” Hangover Cure is Science-Approved

Scientists say the legendary New Orleans’ noodle dish is proven to cure a hangover.

Scientists have proven the legendary New Orleans hangover remedy “Old Sober” is more than just an old wives’ tale. Yesterday at the National Meeting and Exposition of the American Chemical Society in New Orleans, Dr. Alyson E. Mitchell of UC Davis presented evidence on how the noodle soup dish, also known as “Yaka-mein,” can ease the morning-after symptoms brought on by heavy drinking. The dish, often sold from sidewalk vendors during New Orleans festivals, is made with a salty beef and soy-based broth, carb-rich spaghetti noodles, a protein source like beef (or chicken or shrimp), onions, chopped scallions and a sliced hard-boiled egg. The recipe is rumored to have originated in Korea, and traveled stateside after the war. “Folklore has it that American soldiers from New Orleans stationed in Korea in the 1950s learned to appreciate Yak-a-mein on the morning after, and brought a taste for it back home,” says Mitchell. “It may be a good example of intuitive science—an effective remedy, and with the scientific basis revealed only years later.”

So how does it work, exactly? The broth helps replace sodium, potassium and other salts lost through urination from alcohol’s diuretic effects. The egg contains cysteine, proven to help remove acetaldehyde, the product of ethylene metabolization thought to cause hangovers. And the noodles are rich in much-needed carbohydrates. “Old Sober” also contains at least two sources of vitamin B1, eggs and wheat-based noodles, which helps prevent the buildup of glutarate—a substance linked to headaches. Scientists have yet to verify a number of other traditional hangover cures from around the world, including:

  • a lump of soot from the fireplace mixed into a glass of warm milk
  • a pickled herring wrapped around an onion or pickle
  • a prairie oyster—a concoction of vinegar, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, tomato juice and a raw egg
  • Montreal’s poutine (fries drowned in cheese and gravy)
  • buffalo milk
  • rubbing lemon juice under your “drinking arm”
  • voodoo

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