Jan 262015
Marion Barry Quotes
Funny, Information, Political, Quotes
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Dec 032014
Marion Barry was the mayor of Washington D.C. from 1979 to 1991. His term ended abruptly when the FBI, acting on a tip, got video of Barry using crack cocaine. Indeed, that led to one of his most famous quotes: of the FBI informant who set up the sting operation, he complained: “Goddamn bitch set me up!” Well, yeah. He was charged with 3 felonies and 11 misdemeanors, but managed to get all but one charge dismissed; he was sentenced to six months in prison for that one remaining charge.
Once he was released from prison, he proved the adage that voters “get the politicians they deserve” — he was elected to the Washington City Council and, two years later, again elected as mayor of the District.
He died November 23, 2014 at the age of 78.
With that background, we present quotes by the duly elected mayor himself.
“If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where’s Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“I promise you a police car on every sidewalk.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I’m a night owl.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist.”
~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president’s. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn’t break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? Would it!?!” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600’s. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
“What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
and…
“I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man.” ~ Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Nov 302014
A few days ago I was at the auto parts store when an Obama Voter came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. No one had any clue what the part was, even the manager.
“Come on!” he said, exasperated. “Every car I’ve ever had has one! But mine fell off, and I need a new one.”
Finally, even though I wasn’t an auto parts professional, just another customer, I stepped in. “Would it help to look under my hood, and you can point out what it is you want?” I asked.
“Yes!” he exclaimed, and I led the guy to my car with a parade of parts guys, every last one of them, following right behind.
I opened the hood. “Is there a 710 on this car?” I asked. He pointed and said, “Of course, it’s right there!”
And here’s what we saw:
(For the visually impaired, the part says “OIL”… but upside-down.)
Joke Of The Day: The Pope In Alaska
Jokes
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Nov 222014
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On a tour of Alaska, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sightseeing. He was cruising along a campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless scrawny disheveled Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, and a “Save the Whales” T-shirt, was struggling frantically, thrashing around and trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10-foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched, horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear’s head, dropping it instantly. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear, then threw it onto the bed of their (American made!) pickup truck while the other carefully placed the injured Democrat in the back seat, and gave him some much-needed water. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. “I give you my blessing for your brave actions!” he told them. “I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but I’ve now seen with my own eyes that is not true!” As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies, “Who was that guy?” “It was the Pope, you idiot!” another replied. “He’s in direct contact with God and has access to all God’s wisdom.” “Well,” the logger said, “he may have access to all God’s wisdom, but he sure doesn’t know anything about bear hunting. On that note, is the bait holding up OK or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?” |
Nov 202014
