Tag: Daughters

Jokes Political

Joke Of The Day: She Actually Said That?

Rubber Chicken A man was telling his buddy “You won’t believe what happened last night. My daughter walked into the living room and said, “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window, take my TV and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. Don’t forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.”

“Holy Smokes,” replied the friend, “she actually said that?”

“Well, she didn’t put it quite like that. She actually said, ‘Dad, meet my new boyfriend– Mohammed. We’re going to work together on Hillary’s election campaign!’”

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Three Married Daughters

Rubber Chicken A woman has three daughters who get married. She asks them to write to her in two words to describe their happiness.

The first daughter gets married and after three days the woman gets a note.

It reads ‘Maxwell House’. The woman was confused but then read an advertisement in the paper for Maxwell House coffee reading: “Satisfaction guaranteed”.

So the woman was happy for her daughter.

The second daughter gets married and after seven days the woman gets a note.

It reads ‘Rothmans Cigarettes’. The woman was baffled but then read an advertisement in the paper reading “Lifetime, King-size”. So the mother was very happy that her daughter had married well.

The third daughter gets married, but the woman is worried, it’s been four weeks and no word. Finally, on the fifth week the woman gets a note. It reads “British Airways”. So then mom rushed to read an advertisement about British Airways, and shock, horror!

She faints. The advertisement read: “Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways”.

 

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Overseas Adventure

Rubber ChickenA mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter’s plane. She had just come back from a far away land where she was trying to find love and adventure.

As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her. He was dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and was carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband.

The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, “I said for you to marry a RICH doctor! A RICH doctor!”

 

 

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