Tag: Church

Amusing Funny

Texas Beer Joint Sues Local Church

TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE!

(This should keep you chuckling for awhile)

A bar called Drummond’s (in Mt Vernon, Texas ) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to “grow” their business.

In response, the local Southern Baptist Church started a campaign to block the bar from expanding – petitions, prayers, etc.

About a week before the bar’s grand re-opening, a bolt of lightning struck the bar and burned it to the ground!

Afterward, the church folks were rather smug – bragging about “the power of prayer”.

The angry bar owner eventually sued the church on grounds that the church… “Was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, through direct actions or indirect means.”

Of course, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building’s demise.

The judge read carefully through the plaintiff’s complaint and the defendant’s reply.

He then opened the hearing by saying:

“I don’t know how I’m going to decide this, but it appears from the paperwork that what we have here is a bar owner who now believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not.”

 

Jokes

Joke Of The Day: Gladly The Cross-Eyed Bear

Joke Of The Day: Gladly The Cross-Eyed BearA little boy came home with his parents from church one Sunday. He seemed a little depressed, so his mother asked him if something happened in Sunday school class that he would like to talk about.

He told his mother “Well, we were singing songs and the teacher made us sing about a poor bear named Gladly that needed glasses and I can’t stop thinking about him. She said he was cross-eyed and I feel bad for him.

The mother couldn’t understand why the teacher would teach such a song in Sunday school, so she decided to call her.

To the woman’s amazement, the teacher said she only taught hymns that morning. Then the teacher began laughing out loud and said to the mother, “I know what Jeffrey’s’ talking about! We learned the hymn ‘Gladly The Cross I’d Bear'”.

 

 

Amusing

A Redneck Church

You know yours is a Red Neck Church if:

Upon learning that Jesus fed the 5000, the men want to know whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.

The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

The pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering.” Then five guys and two women stand up.

Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”

In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

Baptism is referred to as “Branding.”

There is a special bake sale to raise funds for a new church septic tank.

High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

The baptismal is a #2 galvanized wash tub.

The choir robes were donated by Billy Bob’s Bar-B-Q, and are embroidered with his logo.

The collection plates are really hubcaps from a ’56 Chevy.

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