Joke Of The Day

An American family, living near the Canadian border, was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. But since all the local American facilities were completely full, they decided to put him in a
Canadian home.

After a few weeks in the Canadian facility, they all came to visit grandpa.

“How do you like it here?” asks a grandson.

“It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful”, says grandpa.

One of his daughters said, “Well, we’re very happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you ’cause’, well, you know, you are a little different than everyone else.”

“Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the older people in here”, grandpa says with a big smile.

“There’s a musician here; he’s 85 years old and he hasn’t played the violin in 20 years but everyone still calls him ‘Maestro’!”

“Then there’s a judge; he’s 95 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 30 years and yet everyone still calls him ‘Your Honor’!”

“There’s also a dentist here who is 90 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 25 years and everyone still calls him ‘Doctor’!”

“And me; I haven’t had sex for 35 years and yet they still call me “That ‘f***in’ American”.

Mayor “Hurricane Hazel” McCallion

Have you heard of “Hurricane Hazel” McCallion? She’s the 89-year-old mayor of the City of Mississauga, Ontario, Canada.

Mayor McCallion has been in office for over 31 years, winning election 11 consecutive times. The last election she earned a 92% majority of the votes. Her city is debt free; in fact, Hurricane Hazel has helped build a $700 million surplus.

Oh, and a few years ago, she was hit by a truck. She’s doing fine—the truck went in for repairs!

Enjoy!

Joke Of The Day

A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the North Woods of Canada, both liked to hunt. They were hunting for deer when all of a sudden a moose popped up in front of them. It was so unexpected, neither of them had a chance to fire.

The Scotsman was shaken. “Hoot mon, wit in blazes was that?!”

“That was a moose,” the Canadian replied.

“What are ye saying, lad? A moose? Good Lord, I’d hate to see yer rats!”

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