Joke Of The Day: The Cocktail

Rubber ChickenA man goes into a bar very thirsty. He sits down waiting for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, “I’ll have another Waterloo.”

The bartender gives him a tall ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this new drink he says, “I’ll have a Waterloo, too.”

The bartender gives him a tall ice-cold drink.

He takes a big drink and says, “HEY! This isn’t any good. It tastes just like water!”

The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, “Well, it is water … right, Lou?

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Jilted

Rubber ChickenThe couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar.

“Elliot,” she said, pointing “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?”

The husband looked over and nodded.

“Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!”

The husband returned to his meal. “Nonsense,” he said, “even that’s not worth so much celebrating!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Greatest Racehorse That Ever Lived

Rubber ChickenTwo rather old retired racehorses are in a bar getting totally drunk. After about two hours the first racehorse says “You know…. when I was a young racehorse…from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 90 races, got 5 seconds and 5 thirds…. I am without doubt the greatest racehorse that ever lived….blah blah blah…”

In response to this and approximately a half an hour later the second racehorse responded, “Oh yeah…when I was a young racehorse…from one hundred starts, I won (hic) 95 races, got 2 seconds and 3 thirds…. I am the greatest racehorse that ever lived…. blah blah blah…”

Now it was about this time that the bartender (a greyhound) decided that they were drunk enough so he said, “I am sick of you two telling one another how great you are, you are both drunk and I am throwing you out of the bar, but before I do I want to let you know that when I was a young greyhound, from one hundred starts, I won 100 races, no seconds and no thirds.”

The two racehorses were shocked and for 5 minutes sat with their mouths open until the fist racehorse finally said, “Isn’t that amazing (hic)…a talking greyhound!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Where To Go For A Drink

Rubber ChickenA Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.

The Irishman said “Let’s all go to O’Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guinness.”

The Italian said “That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini’s with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table.”

The Russian said “That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof’s we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid.”

“That sounds to good to be true!” the Irishman exclaimed. “Have you actually been there?”

“No,” the Russian replied, “but my wife goes there all the time.”

 

 

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