Joke Of The Day: Praise the Almighty

Rubber ChickenMrs. Smith, an old lady who lived in the countryside, had a peculiar habit. She would step onto her front porch every morning, raise her arms to the sky, and yell, “Praise the Almighty!”

Her new neighbor, Mr. Fowler who had just moved in, happened to be an atheist. Mr. Fowler didn’t like Mrs. Smith’s morning ritual. So, he would retaliate by stepping onto his front porch after her and shouting: “There’s no Almighty!”.

Time passed with the two of them carrying on the same way every day.

One morning, when it was bitter cold, Mrs. Smith stepped onto her front porch and yelled: “Praise the Almighty! I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, oh Almighty!”

The next morning when she stepped out onto her porch, she saw a big bag of groceries lying there.

“Praise the Almighty!” she cried out. “He has provided groceries for me!”

Her atheist neighbor, Mr. Fowler jumped out of the bushes and shouted: “There is no Almighty. I bought those groceries!”

Mrs. Smith threw her arms into the air and shouted: “Praise the Almighty! He has provided groceries for me and made the Devil pay for it!!!”

 

 

Joke Of The Day: The Pope Went Fishing

Rubber ChickenThe Pope took a Liberal philosophy professor (an atheist at that) out fishing on a large lake.

As they drifted on the still lake, the philosopher accidentally dropped an oar and watched it float away.

The pontiff stepped out of the boat, walked across the water to the oar, grabbed it and walked back to the boat.

The next day at the university, a colleague asked the philosopher if he had enjoyed fishing with the Pope.

“It was okay, but would you believe that guy can’t swim?”