Joke Of The Day: Carbon Reduction Scheme

Rubber ChickenIn response to the continuing debate about Global Warming the American Medical Association has added their voice to the debate over the government’s proposed Carbon Reduction Scheme:

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, ‘Oh,Grow up!’

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

 

 

Who Runs The Human Body?

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

The brain said: “I should be in charge, because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.”

“I should be in charge,” said the heart, “because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you’d all waste away.”

“I should be in charge,” said the stomach, “because I process food and give all of you energy.”

“I should be in charge,” said the rectum, “because I’m responsible for waste removal.”

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?

You don’t have to be smart or important to be in charge… just be an asshole.

Load More