Tag: Army
Joke Of The Day: The Sergeant
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“Well,” snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. “I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave.”
“Not me, Sarge!” the private replied. “Once I get out of the Army, I’m never going to stand in line again!”
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Joke Of The Day: The Army Of The Lord
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The preacher was standing at the front door, shaking hands as his parishioners came out.
He pulled one man aside and said, “You need to join the Army of the Lord, son!” “I’m already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor,” he replied. “How come I only see you at Christmas and Easter?” asked the pastor. “Because I’m in His Secret Service, Pastor!”
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Joke Of The Day: Army Budget Cuts
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It was near the end of basic training and all the soldiers were getting ready for the war. A private came charging into his Lieutenant’s office and said ” Lieutenant, we don’t have enough rifles. What am I going to use for the war?”
“I don’t have time to deal with this right now” the lieutenant thought. He grabbed a broom, sawed off the bottom, and handed it to the solder. “Here use this instead.” “How is this going to work?” “When you see the bad guys coming at you, just point it at them and say ‘Bangity Bang Bang, Bang Bang'”. So the private ran out with his new “rifle”. But soon he came running back to the Lieutenant saying “Lieutenant, we don’t have enough bayonets!” The Lieutenant grabbed a piece of string off of his desk and gave it the private. “When you see the bad guys coming just throw this at them and say ‘Stabity Stab Stab, Stab Stab.'” So the private was all ready for his war. He was sitting in a fox hole, hating being out there, when he saw an enemy creeping along the top of a nearby hill. He grabbed his broom, pointed it at the bad guy and said “Bangity Bang Bang Bangity Bang Bang” and he fell down dead. “Wow this really works” thought the private. He started going through the underbrush when another enemy jumped out and try to gut him – he threw his string at him and said, ‘Stabbity Stab Stab!’. The enemy fell down, dead. Pretty soon, he saw another guy rampaging through the woods. He pointed his broomstick at him and yelled, ‘Bangity Bang Bang!’ Nothing, so he did it again, ‘Bangity Bang Bang!’ The guy was stomping he’s feet. He threw the string, Stabbit Stab Stab!’ The enemy kept stomping towards him and plowed over him, stomping him into the ground. Then he heard the big guy mumbling as he went past “Tankity Tank Tank Tankity Tank Tank.”
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