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The difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks. |
Tag: Alcohol
Joke Of The Day: Alcohol Abuse Lecture
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A man was stopped by the police around 2 am. The officer asked him where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer then asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replied, “That would be my wife.” |
Joke Of The Day: 100-Year-Old Scotch
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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of 100-year-old scotch.
The bartender thinking the guy doesn’t know any better grabs a cheap bottle and pours a glass. The man immediately spits it out and says “I told you I wanted 100-year-old scotch” The bartender figures the guy knows a little, and pours a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip and spits it out and says “I told you. I want 100-year-old scotch, this is only 12-year-old scotch. The bartender realizes the guy knows his stuff, and grabs his finest bottle of 36-year-old scotch, thinking there is no way this man knows the difference. The man takes a sip, spits it out and says, “Look, that was 36-year-old scotch. I’m going to tell you one last time. 100-year-old scotch or nothing.” The bartender realizes he has no choice, and goes into the cellar. He finds an old dusty bottle, brings it up, pours a glass and hands it to the man. He takes a sip and goes “oh man. That is some good 100-year-old scotch” Meanwhile, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching this whole thing. He walks up to the man with a drink and says “here, try this” The man spits it out and says “Dear god. That tastes like piss!” The drunk says, “yeah, but how old am I?” |
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