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A trucker came into a truck stop café and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards.” The brand-new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights, and a pair of running boards! What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?”
“No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards are two slices of crisp bacon!” “Oh, okay!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, “What are the beans for, Blondie?” She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights, and running boards, you might as well gas up!”
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A man walks into a barbershop and asks the barber — “What’s the wait time?”
The barber says, “Be about two and a half hours.” The guy leaves. A couple of days later, he shows up again with the same question. The barber says, “About an hour and a half.” The guy leaves again. About a week later, the guy shows up once more — “How long for a cut?” The barber states “About two hours.” The guy leaves again. The barber tells his buddy Fred — “Follow this guy and see where he goes, he’s come in three times, asks how long for a haircut, then leaves.” Fred comes back a few minutes later, and the barber asks, “So, did you follow him?”. Fred said, “I sure did!” “So, where the heck did he go?” asked the barber. “Your house!” said Fred.
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