We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes.
But the plural of ox is oxen, not “oxes.”
Then one fowl’s a goose, but two are called “geese.”
Yet the plural of moose should never be “meese.”
You may find a mouse, or a nest of mice.
Yet the plural of house is houses, not “hice.”
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called “pen”?
If I spoke of my foot and showed you my feet,
Then I gave you a boot, would a pair be a “beet”?
If one is tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called “beeth”?
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother we never say “methren.”
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, “shis” and “shim.”
So English, I fancy, you will agree,
Is the craziest language you ever did see.
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