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A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150.” The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here, and you would spend only $150?” The man replied, “Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
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So, I had a friend once who always liked to wear saran wrap shorts. Wherever he went, that’s all he would wear — no variation. I begged him to try other shorts, he would ever say was no. So one day, I convinced him to at least come with me to see a psychiatrist. The day of the appointment came, and I walked him into the office. The psychiatrist looked at him, and immediately said, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts.”
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I wanted some honey, so I went to a local apiary to get some of my own bees.
I said, “Can I get some bees to make some of my own honey, please?” Happily, he obliged, “Sure! How many would you like?” “Twelve,” I said. He then left for a moment, and came back with a box full of buzzing bees. After looking at the box however, I noticed there were thirteen bees. “Sir, you gave me thirteen bees when I asked for twelve.” He waved the thought away casually with his hand and said, “Don’t worry, it’s a freebee.”
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