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The lawyer’s son wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps, so he went to law school and graduated with honors. Then he went home to join his father’s firm.
At the end of his first day at work, he rushed into his father’s office and said, “Father, father! In one day, I broke the Smith case that you’ve been working on for so long!” His father yelled, “You idiot! We’ve been living on the funding of that case for ten years!”
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During rehearsal, the high school Music Director was beside himself. The cymbal player in the band was constantly coming in at the wrong time with his cymbal clash. The young man maintained that his entry point gave a much better effect and that he wouldn’t play it as written. When the Music Director was asked by the Principal why he fired the young musician from the band, he replied,
“It was a simple case of cymbal disobedience.”
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Three elderly women were sitting together on a park bench when an elderly man started to walk by. “Excuse me, but we can guess your age,” one of them said to him.
He stopped, intrigued. “How can you guess my age?” he asked them. “Well,” one lady explained, “you’ll have to drop your pants and your underwear.” A little embarrassed but still intrigued, he unzips his pants and drops his trousers and his boxers. “Now turn around,” one says, so he complies, rotating full 360 degrees. “Now jump up and down 3 times.”. He complies. “You’re 87!” all three women exclaim at the same time. Perplexed and amazed at their correct answer, he gasps, “how could you know that?!” “Simple,” one says. “We were at your birthday party yesterday.”
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Everyone had weighed in, and our diet workshop leader began her lecture on the week’s topic: the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried. Finally, she turned the question over to the group for discussion. “What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?”
Replied one woman quickly, “Running into you!”
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