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One night, Pinocchio’s girlfriend says to him, “This stinks. Every time we make love, I get splinters.”
So Pinocchio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice. Gepetto says, “Sandpaper, my boy, that’s all you need.”
A few days later, Gepetto runs into Pinocchio and says, “So how are you doing with the girls now?”
Pinocchio says, “Who needs girls?”
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