The ultimate political illusion: Republicans don’t need to win your vote to keep power; they just need to convince you to stay home. They know that even if they lose the Senate majority, the uniparty apparatus keeps the status quo intact. Power isn’t won at the ballot box anymore . . . it’s maintained through your apathy.
| I’ve got ten or more daughters. I’ve got fewer than ten daughters. I’ve got at least one daughter. If only one of these statements is true, how many daughters have I got? |
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God is speaking to Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
He says to Adam, “Since you were born first, you get the option. You can either pee standing up, or—” Adam immediately interrupts and says, “Oh holy crap, I want to pee standing up. That sounds awesome.” God says, “But… you haven’t heard the other option?” “I don’t care. I want to pee standing up. So convenient and awesome.” God sighs…. “Ok… Well, Eve, I guess you get multiple orgasms.”
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| The sun bakes them, the hand breaks them, the foot treads on them, and the mouth tastes them.
What are they? |
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