Joke Of The Day: The Australian Groom

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: The Australian Groom
Jan 062017
 
Rubber Chicken An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.

She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. They end up getting married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked, and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I’ve never been with a woman” he says, “but if it’s anything like screwing a kangaroo… I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”

 

 

 

How To Of The Day: Store And Stack Firewood

 How To  Comments Off on How To Of The Day: Store And Stack Firewood
Jan 052017
 

Stack your firewood to last the Winter and to dry perfectly with this handy graphic.

store-and-stack-firewood

After you split firewood, you want to stack it up and store it to begin the seasoning process and prepare it for burning. Firewood should be stored for a minimum of 6 months, and during that time you want to ensure it loses as much moisture as possible by exposing it to ample sunlight and air circulation. As noted above, while both elements are important, sun exposure should be prioritized over wind direction. If your backyard or property has inconsistent wind patterns, the stack should be aligned so that it catches the west-to-east winds which are common in North America.

You’ll know when your wood is ready for stove or fireplace by sight and sound: Check the ends of your firewood for hairline cracks that spiderweb across the grain, and bang the wood together; a low thud sound means you’re good to go, but a sharp clap means it still needs time.

If you’ve waited six months and your wood still doesn’t seem ready, your stack may be out of whack; check the guidelines above for tips on how it might be improved.

Illustration by Ted Slampyak

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