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If we don’t like the answers life keeps giving us, then perhaps we should change our questions. |
Confucius Say: Answers And Questions
Confucius Say
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Jun 082016
Random Riddle: 6-8-2016
Riddles
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Jun 082016
Jun 082016
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An average American voter walks into a bar and sees Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton huddled together at the end of the bar, whispering to one another. Intrigued, the voter approaches the pair and asks them what they are doing.
“We’re planning the 2016 election,” brags Trump. “What’s going to be different about it this year?” the voter asks. “Well,” Clinton replies, “We’re going to rig the vote count and put me in office, as well as delete a few of my emails.” “What’s so important about these emails that they’ve got to be deleted?” inquires the voter, eyeing the two suspiciously. “See!” Clinton exclaims, turning towards Trump, “I told you no one would care if we rigged the election.”
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Jun 072016
Short Mexican Jokes
Jokes
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Jun 072016
Q: Why do Mexicans have big noses?
A: So they have something to pick in the offseason.
Q: How many Mexicans does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them
Q: Why can’t Mexicans become Doctors?
A: It’s too hard to spray paint prescriptions.
Q: How do 3 Mexicans cross the Rio Grand?
A: One swims and the other two walked on the dead fish.
Q: How Are mexican Children Taught To Put On Their Underwear?
A: Brown In The Back, Yellow Up Front.
Q: Why don’t mexicans have barbeques?
A: The beans keep slipping through the grill.
Q: Why don’t mexicans marry blacks?
A: Their kids would be too lazy to steal.
Q: Why did the Mexican government cancel both drivers ed ? sex ed in school?
A: The donkey died.
Q: What Do You Say To A mexican In A Three-Piece Suit?
A: Will The Defendant Please Rise!
Q: What do you call An mexican with a dog ?
A: A vegetarian !
Q: What Do Mexicans Say Before Picking Their Noses?
A: Grace.
Q: Why don’t Mexicans have checking accounts?
A: It’s too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.
Q: What do you call a mexican baptism?
A: a bean dip.
Q: Why did Santa Anna only bring 4000 troops to the Alamo?
A: He had only 2 cars.
Q: What do you have when there are two Mexicans in a box?
A. A pair of loafers.
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicano and a polock?
A: A kid who spray paints his name on a chain link fence.
Q: How do you starve a Mexican?
A: Hide their Food Stamps under their work boots.
Q: What’s a Mexican with no arms?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What Do You Call A Mexican With A Vasectomy?
A: A Dry Martinez.
Q: What Do You Get When You Cross A Mexican With An Octopus?
A: I Don’t Know, But It Can Sure Pick Lettuce
Q: What Is A Wiener?
A: The First One To Cross The Line At A Mexican Track Meet.
Q: What Is The Name Of Mexico’s Telephone Company?
A: “Taco Bell.”
Q: What Would You Call A Mexican Gigolo?
A: Juan For The Money!
Q: When Does A Mexican Become A Spaniard?
A: When He Marries Your Daughter.
Q: Why Aren’t There Any Swimming Pools In Mexico?
A: Because All The Mexicans Who Can Swim Are Over Here.
Q: Why Do Mexicans Eat Beans For Dinner?
A: So They Can Take Bubble Baths.
Q: Why Wasn’t Christ Born In Mexico?
A: They Couldn’t Find Three Wise Men And A Virgin.
Q: Why Is There So Little Great mexican Literature?
A: Spray Paint Wasn’t Invented Until 1950.
Q: Why Is The Average Age Of The mexican Army, 40?
A: Because They Take ’em Right Out Of High School!
Q: Why Is Semen White And Pee Yellow?
A: So Mexicans Can Tell If They’re Coming Or Going.
Q: Why Don’t They Give Mexicans A Whole Hour For Lunch?
A: They Don’t Want To Have To Retrain Them.
Q: Why Don’t Mexican Women Use Vibrators?
A: It Chips Their Teeth.
Q: Why Don’t Mexican Women Breast Feed Their Children?
A: It Hurts Too Much To Boil Their Nipples!
Q: Why Do Mexicans Pick At Their Belly Buttons When Their Plates Are Clean?
A: They Want An After-Dinner Lint.
Q: Why Do They Using Mexicans Instead Of Laboratory Rats In Experiments Now?
A: Mexicans Breed Faster And You Don’t Get So Attached To Them.
Q: Why Are There No Mexican Pharmacies?
A: They Can’t Figure Out How To Put The Little Bottles In The Typewriter.
Q: Why Are Mexicans So Quick On Their Feet?
A: Because They Spend Their First Nine Months Dodging Coat Hangers.
Q: What Happened To The Mexicans National Library?
A: Someone Stole The Book.
Q: What Do You Get When You Cross A Mexican And A Squirrel?
A: A Tree Full Of Hubcaps.
Q: What do you call a Mexican at a university?
A: The caretaker.
Q: What Did The Mexican Do With His First Fifty Cent Piece?
A: He Married Her.
Q: What Are The Three Most Difficult Years In A Mexican’s Life?
A: Second Grade.
Q: How Many Mexicans Does It Take To Eat An Armadillo?
A: Three, One To Eat It And Two To Watch For Cars.
Q: How Many Mexican Men Does It Take To Do The Washing Up?
A: None Its Women’s Work!
Q: How Does The Mexican Prepare For A Trip In Alaska?
A: He Packs A Six-Pack In Case He Has To Leave a Message In The Snow.
Q: How does a Mexican count?
A: “1, 2, 3, another, another, another….”
Q: How do you break a Mexican’s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: How can you tell a Mexican woman is on her period?
A: She’s only wearing one sock
Q: How can you tell a Mexican cock sucker?
A: He’s the one spitting feathers.
Q: Have you heard about the Mexican 500 car race?
A: The first car to start wins.
Q: Did You Hear About The Mexican Terrorist Sent To Blow Up A Car?
A: He Burned His Mouth On The Tailpipe.
Q: Did you hear about the Mexican lesbian?
A: She loved men.
Q: Why do Mexicans keep tin foil on their noses?
A: Keeps their lunch warm.
Q: What is the best-selling deodorant in Mexico?
A: Raid.
Q: Why do Mexicans drive low-riders?
A: So they can drive and pick lettuce.
Q: Why do Mexicans have small steering wheels?
A: So they can drive with handcuffs on!
Q: How many Mexican mechanics does it take to lube a car?
A: One if you back over him twice.
Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have any athletes in the Olympics?
A: Because anyone who could run, jump or swim is over here!