Short Mexican Jokes

Dancing-Mexican-by-Rones-800pxQ: Why do Mexicans have big noses?
A: So they have something to pick in the offseason.

Q: How many Mexicans does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them

Q: Why can’t Mexicans become Doctors?
A: It’s too hard to spray paint prescriptions.

Q: How do 3 Mexicans cross the Rio Grand?
A: One swims and the other two walked on the dead fish.

Q: How Are mexican Children Taught To Put On Their Underwear?
A: Brown In The Back, Yellow Up Front.

Q: Why don’t mexicans have barbeques?
A: The beans keep slipping through the grill.

Q: Why don’t mexicans marry blacks?
A: Their kids would be too lazy to steal.

Q: Why did the Mexican government cancel both drivers ed ? sex ed in school?
A: The donkey died.

Q: What Do You Say To A mexican In A Three-Piece Suit?
A: Will The Defendant Please Rise!

Q: What do you call An mexican with a dog ?
A: A vegetarian !

Q: What Do Mexicans Say Before Picking Their Noses?
A: Grace.

Q: Why don’t Mexicans have checking accounts?
A: It’s too hard to spray paint your name on the little line.

Q: What do you call a mexican baptism?
A: a bean dip.

Q: Why did Santa Anna only bring 4000 troops to the Alamo?
A: He had only 2 cars.

Q: What do you have when there are two Mexicans in a box?
A. A pair of loafers.

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicano and a polock?
A: A kid who spray paints his name on a chain link fence.

Q: How do you starve a Mexican?
A: Hide their Food Stamps under their work boots.

Q: What’s a Mexican with no arms?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What Do You Call A Mexican With A Vasectomy?
A: A Dry Martinez.

Q: What Do You Get When You Cross A Mexican With An Octopus?
A: I Don’t Know, But It Can Sure Pick Lettuce

Q: What Is A Wiener?
A: The First One To Cross The Line At A Mexican Track Meet.

Q: What Is The Name Of Mexico’s Telephone Company?
A: “Taco Bell.”

Q: What Would You Call A Mexican Gigolo?
A: Juan For The Money!

Q: When Does A Mexican Become A Spaniard?
A: When He Marries Your Daughter.

Q: Why Aren’t There Any Swimming Pools In Mexico?
A: Because All The Mexicans Who Can Swim Are Over Here.

Q: Why Do Mexicans Eat Beans For Dinner?
A: So They Can Take Bubble Baths.

Q: Why Wasn’t Christ Born In Mexico?
A: They Couldn’t Find Three Wise Men And A Virgin.

Q: Why Is There So Little Great mexican Literature?
A: Spray Paint Wasn’t Invented Until 1950.

Q: Why Is The Average Age Of The mexican Army, 40?
A: Because They Take ’em Right Out Of High School!

Q: Why Is Semen White And Pee Yellow?
A: So Mexicans Can Tell If They’re Coming Or Going.

Q: Why Don’t They Give Mexicans A Whole Hour For Lunch?
A: They Don’t Want To Have To Retrain Them.

Q: Why Don’t Mexican Women Use Vibrators?
A: It Chips Their Teeth.

Q: Why Don’t Mexican Women Breast Feed Their Children?
A: It Hurts Too Much To Boil Their Nipples!

Q: Why Do Mexicans Pick At Their Belly Buttons When Their Plates Are Clean?
A: They Want An After-Dinner Lint.

Q: Why Do They Using Mexicans Instead Of Laboratory Rats In Experiments Now?
A: Mexicans Breed Faster And You Don’t Get So Attached To Them.

Q: Why Are There No Mexican Pharmacies?
A: They Can’t Figure Out How To Put The Little Bottles In The Typewriter.

Q: Why Are Mexicans So Quick On Their Feet?
A: Because They Spend Their First Nine Months Dodging Coat Hangers.

Q: What Happened To The Mexicans National Library?
A: Someone Stole The Book.

Q: What Do You Get When You Cross A Mexican And A Squirrel?
A: A Tree Full Of Hubcaps.

Q: What do you call a Mexican at a university?
A: The caretaker.

Q: What Did The Mexican Do With His First Fifty Cent Piece?
A: He Married Her.

Q: What Are The Three Most Difficult Years In A Mexican’s Life?
A: Second Grade.

Q: How Many Mexicans Does It Take To Eat An Armadillo?
A: Three, One To Eat It And Two To Watch For Cars.

Q: How Many Mexican Men Does It Take To Do The Washing Up?
A: None Its Women’s Work!

Q: How Does The Mexican Prepare For A Trip In Alaska?
A: He Packs A Six-Pack In Case He Has To Leave a Message In The Snow.

Q: How does a Mexican count?
A: “1, 2, 3, another, another, another….”

Q: How do you break a Mexican’s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.

Q: How can you tell a Mexican woman is on her period?
A: She’s only wearing one sock

Q: How can you tell a Mexican cock sucker?
A: He’s the one spitting feathers.

Q: Have you heard about the Mexican 500 car race?
A: The first car to start wins.

Q: Did You Hear About The Mexican Terrorist Sent To Blow Up A Car?
A: He Burned His Mouth On The Tailpipe.

Q: Did you hear about the Mexican lesbian?
A: She loved men.

Q: Why do Mexicans keep tin foil on their noses?
A: Keeps their lunch warm.

Q: What is the best-selling deodorant in Mexico?
A: Raid.

Q: Why do Mexicans drive low-riders?
A: So they can drive and pick lettuce.

Q: Why do Mexicans have small steering wheels?
A: So they can drive with handcuffs on!

Q: How many Mexican mechanics does it take to lube a car?
A: One if you back over him twice.

Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have any athletes in the Olympics?
A: Because anyone who could run, jump or swim is over here!