Joke Of The Day: 100-Year-Old Scotch

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: 100-Year-Old Scotch
Mar 132015
 
Rubber Chicken A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of 100-year-old scotch.

The bartender thinking the guy doesn’t know any better grabs a cheap bottle and pours a glass. The man immediately spits it out and says “I told you I wanted 100-year-old scotch”

The bartender figures the guy knows a little, and pours a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip and spits it out and says “I told you. I want 100-year-old scotch, this is only 12-year-old scotch.

The bartender realizes the guy knows his stuff, and grabs his finest bottle of 36-year-old scotch, thinking there is no way this man knows the difference. The man takes a sip, spits it out and says, “Look, that was 36-year-old scotch. I’m going to tell you one last time. 100-year-old scotch or nothing.”

The bartender realizes he has no choice, and goes into the cellar. He finds an old dusty bottle, brings it up, pours a glass and hands it to the man. He takes a sip and goes “oh man. That is some good 100-year-old scotch”

Meanwhile, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching this whole thing. He walks up to the man with a drink and says “here, try this”

The man spits it out and says “Dear god. That tastes like piss!”

The drunk says, “yeah, but how old am I?”

 

 

Celebrity Patriot: Jimmy Stewart

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Mar 122015
 

Jimmy Stewart

Celebrity patriots a rare breed but Jimmy Stewart more than fit the bill.

Jimmy Stewart’s original attempts to join the Army were rejected because he did not meet the height and weight requirements to become a fighter pilot. Unfazed by the setback, Stewart found an alternative route by joining the U.S. Air Corps, where he would quickly rise through the ranks and become a Colonel in just four years. He won virtually every Medal of Honor available and helped fly crucial missions in Nazi Germany.

While he was building his reputation as an actor, the rest of the world was about to go to war. German occupation in numerous countries in the early part of 1940 led Congress on September 16, 1940 to pass the Selective Service Bill, “the draft”, this bill called for 900,000 men between the ages of 20 and 36 to be drafted each year. Stewart’s draft number was 310. When his number was called and he appeared at Draft Board No. 245 in West Los Angeles in February 1941, the 6’3” Stewart weighed only 138 pounds, 5 pounds under the acceptable weight level. He was turned down. Stewart wanted to fly and serve his country but by May of 1941 he would have been too old to get into flight school. He went home ate everything he could that was fattening and went back and enlisted in the Army Air Corps, he passed the physical with an ounce to spare. While others tried to avoid the draft, he actually wanted to serve in the military. Later he would actually campaign to see combat.

Jimmy was already a licensed pilot. Interested in aviation as a child, he had taken his first flight while still in Indiana from one of the barnstorming pilots that used to travel the Midwest. As a successful actor in 1935 Jimmy was able to afford flying lessons. He received his pilot’s license in 1935 and bought his first airplane. In 1938 he gained his commercial pilot’s license. He often flew cross country to visit his parents in Pennsylvania, navigating by the railroad tracks.

In the military, he was to make extensive use of his pilot’s training. In March 1941 at age 32, he reported for duty as Private James Stewart at Fort McArthur and was assigned to the Army Air Corps at Moffett Field. To comply with the regulations of the Air Corps proficiency board, Stewart required additional 100 flying hours and bought them at a nearby field, at this own expense. He then took and passed a very stiff proficiency board examination. In January 1942 Stewart was commissioned a 2nd Lieutenant. He was then sent to Mather Field in California as a twin engine instructor this included both the B-17 and B-24. Much to his dismay, Stewart stayed stateside for almost two years, until commanding officers finally yielded to his request to be sent overseas. In November 1943, now a Captain and Operations Officer for the 703rd Squadron, 445th Bombardment Group of the Eight Air Force, he arrived in Tibenham, England. In March of 1944 he was transferred to the 453rd Bombardment Group at Old Buckenham. While stateside, Stewart flew B-17’s (The Flying Fortress). In England he flew B-24’s (The Liberator) and did so for the remaining years of the war. Stewart’s war record included 20 dangerous combat missions as command pilot, wing commander or squadron commander. He was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross with two Oak Leaf Clusters, The Air Medal with three Oak Leaf Clusters, and the French Croix de Guerre with Palm. At the end of the war he had risen to the rank of Colonel. After the war he remained with the US Air Force Reserves and was promoted to Brigadier General in 1959. His tuxedo and dress blues with all the correct medals are on display at The Jimmy Stewart Museum. He retired from the Air Force in 1968 (mandatory retirement age) and received the Distinguished Service Medal. When the war was over, Jimmy returned home to a hero’s welcome in Indiana, Pennsylvania, immortalized by Life magazine cover that showed him posing in full uniform on top of a building with the golden cupola of the Indiana County Courthouse in the background draped with a “Welcome Home Jim” banner and a large lighted wooden “V”ictory sign – his father is said to have put these up.

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Stuff You Didn’t Know

 Amusing, Information  Comments Off on Stuff You Didn’t Know
Mar 122015
 

Who_Knew

  • It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
  • Gold is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the ground for thousands of years.
  • Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.
  • If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water.  When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
  • Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.
  • Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
  • The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in  almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new  year.
  • Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.
  • Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450 F.
  • The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear, is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the  veins in the ear.
  • Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.
  • The banana cannot reproduce itself.  It can be propagated only by the hand of man.
  • Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.
  • The University of Alaska spans four time zones.
  • The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
  • In ancient Greece , tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage.  Catching it meant she accepted.
  • Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
  • Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
  • A comet’s tail always points away from the   sun.
  • The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
  • Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
  • The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval  times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
  • If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
  • When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go.  The first sense lost is sight.
  • In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.
  • Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.
  • Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.
  • The moon moves about two inches away from the earth each year.
  • The earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.
  • Due to earth’s gravity, it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.
  • Mickey Mouse is known as “Topolino” in Italy .
  • Soldiers do  not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock  the bridge down.
  • Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.
  • For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.
  • The Letter J does not appear anywhere on the Periodic Table of the Elements