Joke Of The Day: Green’s Gourmet Grocery

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: Green’s Gourmet Grocery
Mar 102014
 
Rubber Chicken A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.

“Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?”

“I wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won’t hear. “But since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on my secret: Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”

“You sell them here?” the customer asks.

“Only $4 apiece,” says Green.

The customer buys three. A week later, he’s back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn’t any smarter.

“You didn’t eat enough of them,” says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s really angry.

“Hey, Green,” he says, “you’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You’re ripping me off!”

“You see?” says Green. “You’re smarter already.”

 

 

While Crimea Burns

 Funny, Political  Comments Off on While Crimea Burns
Mar 092014
 

While Crimea Burns - Obama Golf

While Crimea burns Obama is fiddling with his little balls!

Question: What does Barack Obama do while ineffectually dealing with the Russia and Ukraine fight over the Crimea, watching that region burn, and also ordering the cutting of funds for missile defense for Israel while enabling Iran to continue heading for nuclear bomb-making capability, thus heating the Middle East to the boiling point?

Answer: He goes golfing. On Saturday, Obama joined former NFL star receiver Ahnmad Rashad ,former NBA star center Alonzo Mourning, and Cyrus Walker, Valerie Jarrett’s cousin, to go golfing in Key Largo, Florida. Obama brought the wife and kids for a weekend getaway. White House spokesman Josh Earnest explained that Obama was relishing warm-weather downtime.

Source…

Sarah Palin – I Do Not Like This Uncle Sam

 Political  Comments Off on Sarah Palin – I Do Not Like This Uncle Sam
Mar 092014
 

Sarah Palin, insprired by Ted Cruz who read “Green Eggs and Ham” during his filibuster last year, rewrote the Dr. Seuss classic during her brilliant speech at CPAC 2014.


Sarah Palin – I Do Not Like This Uncle Sam

“I do not like this Uncle Sam.
I do not like his health care scam.
I do not like — oh, just you wait —
I do not like these dirty crooks,
or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their crony deals.
I do not like this spying, man,
I do not like, ‘Oh, Yes we can.’
I do not like this spending spree,
we’re smart, we know there’s nothing free.
I do not like reporters’ smug replies
when I complain about their lies.
I do not like this kind of hope,
and we won’t take it,
nope, nope, nope

via Gateway Pundit

Previously:
Dr. Seuss: I Do Not Like This Uncle Sam