Joke Of The Day: Drunk On A Cruise

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Jan 172014
 
Rubber Chicken A drunk goes on a cruise, and, having taken full advantage of the Alcohol Package, stumbles out on deck at night, trips, and falls overboard. Eventually he washes up on a deserted island. In the morning, after sleeping it off for a few hours, he wanders the beach aimlessly, kicking at the debris, until he kicks a bottle, out of which pops a Genie.

The genie says, “You’re in luck! I can grant you three wishes.”

The drunk says, “Okay, I want a bottle of booze that never gets empty.”

Poof, the bottle appears.

The drunk tries enthusiastically to see if he can empty the bottle, but every time he takes it from his lips to check the level of booze in the bottle, it’s still full.

The Genie, getting a bit impatient, says, “You still have two wishes left! Don’t waste them!”

The drunk replies, “Okay, I want two more bottles just like this one!”

 

 

Australia’s Giant Gippsland Earthworm

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Jan 162014
 
Giant Gippsland Earthworm

The giant Gippsland earthworm is one of Australia’s 1,000 native earthworm species.

I bet Bear Grylls would never be able to eat one of these monsters.

What’s 31 inches long, one inch thick, has no legs, and slithers through the ground? No, it’s not a snake, it’s an earthworm! The Giant Gippsland, found in Gippsland in south-eastern Australia, is the world’s largest species of earthworms. Fully stretched, it can measure up to two meters in length.

These slithering giants are surprisingly gentle creatures. They are quite hard to spot, spending most of their lives deep underground. Higher water content in the soil helps them breathe better. Their burrows can be as deep as 3 to 5 feet below the surface. Sometimes, heavy rainfall forces them to emerge out of the dirt. You might find also find their burrows in places where there’s been a landslip.

They are quite fragile – reckless handling can crush and kill them. Only a particular type of moist soil is suitable for their survival. If you happen to walk over their water-filled burrows, they will respond to the vibration of your footsteps. They start to crawl about and make squelchy noises that are quite easy to hear. So even though the Gippsland Giants are pretty rare, you’ll know when they are around.

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