Joke Of The Day: Last Lunch

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Oct 282012
 

Rubber ChickenThree steel workers were having lunch at the construction site, a 20 story building.

The first worker is Italian and when he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat spaghetti for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.”

The second worker is Hispanic. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, ” Oh, no, if I have to eat tacos for lunch one more time, I going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.”

The third worker is Polish. When he looks in his lunch box, he exclaims, “Oh, no, if I have to eat polish sausage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off the 20th floor and kill myself.”

The next day the Italian looks in his lunch box, sees a bowl of spaghetti. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death.

Then the Hispanic worker looks in his lunch box, sees 2 tacos. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death.

Finally the Polish worker looks in his lunch box, sees a polish sausage sandwich. He walks to the edge and jumps to his death.

At the funeral for the three workers the Italian workers wife is sobbing out of control and cries,” Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed him a different lunch!”

The Hispanics wife is also sobbing out of control and cries,” Oh, its all my fault. If only I had packed my husband a different lunch!”

The Polish workers wife isn’t crying at all so the other two wives confront her.

“Don’t look at me,” she exclaims, “He packs his own lunch!”

 

 

Oct 272012
 

My old grandpa said to me ‘Son, there comes a time in every man’s life when he stops bustin’ knuckles and starts bustin’ caps and usually it’s when he becomes too old to take an butt whoopin.’

I don’t carry a gun to kill people.
I carry a gun to keep from being killed.

I don’t carry a gun to scare people.
I carry a gun because sometimes this world can be a scary place.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m paranoid.
I carry a gun because there are real threats in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m evil.
I carry a gun because I have lived long enough to see the evil in the world.

I don’t carry a gun because I hate the government.
I carry a gun because I understand the limitations of government.

I don’t carry a gun because I’m angry.
I carry a gun so that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life hating myself for failing to be prepared.

I don’t carry a gun because I want to shoot someone.
I carry a gun because I want to die at a ripe old age in my bed, and not on a sidewalk somewhere tomorrow afternoon.

I don’t carry a gun to make me feel like a man.
I carry a gun because men know how to take care of themselves and the ones they love.

I don’t carry a gun because I feel inadequate.
I carry a gun because unarmed and facing three armed thugs, I am inadequate.

I don’t carry a gun because I love it.
I carry a gun because I love life and the people who make it meaningful to me.

Police protection is an oxymoron.
Free citizens must protect themselves.

Police do not protect you from crime, they usually just investigate the crime after it happens and then call someone in to clean up the mess.

Personally, I carry a gun because I’m too young to die and too old to take a whoopin’…..

 

Baby in a Basket

 Amusing, Cartoons  Comments Off on Baby in a Basket
Oct 272012
 

Could the characters in this short animation be Liberals? Inquiring minds want to know.

“I’ve got two daughters – nine years old and six years old. I’m going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby. I don’t want them punished with an STD at the age of sixteen.” ~ Barack Hussein Obama