The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y’allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.The following are excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary:
- HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting.
- HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage “Heidi, Hire yew?”
- BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow. “Usage “My brother bard my pickup truck.”
- JAWJUH – (noun) – The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck.”
- BAMMER – (noun) – The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”
- MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division. Usage “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”
- THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”
- BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”
- IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See “Arkansas native.” Usage “Them bammer boys sure are ignert!”
- RANCH – (noun) – A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts. Usage “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”
- ALL – (noun) – A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”
- FAR – (noun) – A conflagration. Usage “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far.”
- TAR – (noun) – A rubber wheel. Usage “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”
- TIRE – (noun) – A tall monument. Usage “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”
- RETARD – (verb) – To stop working. Usage “My grampaw retard at age 65.”
- FAT – (noun), (verb) – a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”
- RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege. Usage “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”
- CHEER – (adverb) In this place. Usage “Just set that bare rat cheer.”
- FARN – (adjective) – Not domestic. Usage “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country.”
- DID – (adjective) – Not alive. Usage “He’s did, Jim.”
- ARE – (noun) – A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage “He cain’t breathe…give ‘im some ARE!”
- BOB WAR – (noun) – A sharp, twisted cable. Usage “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”
- JEW HERE – (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”
- HAZE – a contraction. Usage “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah…haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit’n ‘is laf.”
- SEED – (verb) – past tense of “to see”.
- VIEW – contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage “I ain’t never seed New York City … view?”
- GUBMINT – (noun) – A bureaucratic institution. Usage “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”
