Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

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Apr 152011
 

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

—-the car isn’t washed,
—-the bills aren’t paid,
—-there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
—-the flowers don’t have enough water,
—-there is still o nly 1 check in my check book,
—-I can’t find the remote,
—-I can’t find my glasses,
—-and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this to everyone you know, because I don’t remember where I got it from.

Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

Obama 2012 Re-Election Song – “Would You Vote For Me Now?”

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Apr 152011
 

This is so bad that it’s good.

Video Description:

OBAMA SINGS HIS RE ELECTION SONG FOR 2012FUNNY PARODY SPOOF WOULD YOU VOTE FOR ME NOW a parody of Toby Keith Classic, How do you like me now? Paul Shanklin Rush limbaugh glen glenn beck parodys parodies funny spoofs race racist black people songs about song songs

I wrote, directed, edited, sang, played the Obama character and did the work with “Crazytalk6” to animate the Joker face. I hope you will comment and let me know what you think of my effort.

Lyrics:
I gave a speech in 2008
and all you chumps said I was great
the democratic party said I was their man
you thought I was the choosen one
Im not even an american
you heard hope and change and believed yes we can
for 20 years I listened
to reverand rights preachin
but you overlooked that some how
besides I had Bush to blame
no need to worry about McCain
so I made my speeches to loud
would you vote for me now

Chorus #1
Would you vote for me now
now that Ive spread your wealth
you must be crazy
I control your health
you couldnt help but love me
now all thats been turned about
Ive ruined your country
would you vote for me now

When I took on Hillary
I heared that you made fun of me
You never imagined Id take it this far
that little spill was just my luck
I shut down drillin in the Gulf
and now I laugh while your gas prices soar
they forclosed your home
and your not alone
Your kids have no future at all
food prices raiggin
Michelle on vacation
Its me baby with your wake up call
would you vote for me now

Chours #2
Would you vote for me now
after trillions in debt
Ill transform america
you see what I meant
You couldnt help but love me
but now all thats turned about
Ive ruined you country
would you vote for me now

Back to Chours #!

Random Riddle

 Riddles  Comments Off on Random Riddle
Apr 152011
 
Suicide.
Hold your mouse over for the answer.
A certain crime is punishable if attempted but not punishable if committed.

What is it?

Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Apr 152011
 

Why are products getting so specialized?

I went to CVS today and asked for a deodorant. The young lady behind the counter wanted to know if I wanted the ball kind.

I told her, “No, the stuff for my arm pits is good enough.”