Joke Of The Day

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Mar 132011
 

A man dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer.

He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place.

“Well,” said the demon, “the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes don’t!”

Rand Paul: Get Your Hands Off My Toilet!

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Mar 122011
 

This is the funniest, most brilliant statement I have ever heard in years! Finally someone with logic and reason tells it like it is.

Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., lambasted the Energy Department today, saying the agency forces Americans to buy toilets that don‘t flush properly and light bulbs they don’t want in the name of energy efficiency.

During a hearing of the Senate’s Energy and Natural Resources Committee, Paul told Energy Department official Kathleen Hogan “my toilets don’t work in my house. And I blame you and people like you who want to tell me what I can install in my house.”

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Man Oh Man

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Mar 122011
 

When without money, eats wild vegetables at home
When has money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant

When without money, rides bicycle
When has money, rides exercise machine

When without money, walks to earn food
When has money, walks to lose the fat

Man Oh Man! Never fails to deceive thyself!

When without money, wishes to get married
When has money, wishes to get divorced

When without money, wife becomes secretary
When has money, secretary becomes wife

When without money, acts like rich man
When has money, acts like poor man

Man Oh Man! Never means what he says and never says what he means!