Moral of the Day: Italian Wedding Test

 Jokes  Comments Off on Moral of the Day: Italian Wedding Test
Jun 232010
 

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.” I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside.

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

“The moral of this story is:”
“Always keep your condoms in your car.”

Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Jun 232010
 

Two cannibals meet one day.

The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender Missionary. I’ve baked them, I’ve roasted them, I’ve stewed them, I’ve barbecued them, I’ve tried every sort of marinade. I just can’t seem to get them tender.”

The second cannibal asks, “What kind of Missionary do you use?”

The other replied, “You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they’re sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.”

“Ah, ha!” the second cannibal replies. “No wonder … those are FRIARS!”

A Few Unknown Facts!

 Amusing  Comments Off on A Few Unknown Facts!
Jun 232010
 

Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.

Having one child makes you a parent having two, a referee.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband!

A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.

Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

You can’t buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it.

Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give or she’ll take it anyway.

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you!