Cartoon Of The Day
Cartoons
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Jun 022010
When God Created Pennsylvania
Amusing
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Jun 022010
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired, “Where have you been?”
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”
“It’s a planet,” replied God, and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.”
“Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m still confused.”
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent
of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.”
God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”
The Archangel , impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that one?”
“That’s Pennsylvania , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Pennsylvania are going to be handsome, modest,
intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.”
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”
God smiled, “Not very far from Pennsylvania is Washington , DC. Wait till you see the idiots I put there.”
Nancy Pelosi: My Favorite Word Is “The Word”
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Jun 022010
You are travelling to another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound… but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land, whose boundaries are only that of the imagination… you are now entering… the Twilight Zone
“They ask me all the time, ‘What is your favorite this? What is your favorite that? What is your favorite that?’ And one time, ‘What is your favorite word?’ And I said, ‘My favorite word? That is really easy. My favorite word is the Word, is the Word. And that is everything. It says it all for us. And you know the biblical reference, you know the Gospel reference of the Word.”
Joke Of The Day
Jokes
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Jun 022010
Barack Obama, George Bush, and Bill Clinton are all on Air Force One headed to the UN.
The pilot comes on the loudspeaker and says, “I’m sorry to tell you this, but we are about to run out of fuel and the plane is gonna crash into the ocean. We do have parachutes, but not enough for all three of you”.
Bush and Clinton begin talking about how they are gonna decide who won’t get a parachute. Meanwhile, Obama pulls a pack out of the overhead, straps it on, and jumps from the plane.
With a sigh, Bush hands a parachute to Clinton. Bill responds “You are going to sacrifice yourself for me? I will never forget this.”
With a smile, Bush says, “I’m not sacrificing anything, Obama took my gym bag.”
A Wise Old Man
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Jun 012010
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home in the summer near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.
Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys full of youthful after-school enthusiasm came down his street beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said,You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.
The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. He said, I haven’t received my Social Security (pension) check yet, so I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?
A lousy quarter? the drum leader exclaimed. If you think we’re going to waste our time beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, man. We quit!
And the wise old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.