Joke Of The Day

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May 092010
 

I bought a new Ford Super Duty and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

‘Nelson,’ the salesman said to the radio.

The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’

‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On The Road Again’ came from the speakers.

Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant ‘Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, ‘Beethoven,’ I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles,’ I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.

I yelled, ‘Ass Hole!’

Immediately the radio responded with, “Ladies and gentlemen, The President of The United States…”

Damn I love this truck!

Joke Of The Day

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May 082010
 

I walked into a bar last night and ordered a beer.

After a couple of minutes I thought heard a peanut say, “Nice tie.” I didn’t know what to think of this so I kept sipping on my beer.

A couple more minutes went by and I thought I heard another peanut say, “Nice hair style.”

By then I was wondering what was in the beer.

A couple minutes later I thought I heard another peanut say, “Nice shoes.”

So I asked the bartender what was going on. I keep hearing peanuts talking to me.

He said, Those are our appetizers, They’re complimentary.

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