Joke Of The Day

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Mar 122010
 

A Doctor was addressing a large audience stating ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful.

Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.

Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our bottled drinking water.

However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have eaten, or will eat it.

Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and said, ‘Wedding Cake.’

Qualifications to be President

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Mar 112010
 

In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple, the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. 

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. 

The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?” 

Yep, these are the same 18-year-olds that just elected the President of the United States . Now we know why. And don’t forget, “They walk among us & voted!”

Joke Of The Day

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Mar 112010
 

A couple were celebrating their golden anniversary and the local paper decided to run a story about it.The reporter asked the wife what was the key to their long, happy wedded life. She said, “It started on our honeymoon. We went on a mule ride down the Grand Canyon. When my husband first got one the mule it kicked forward a little and he fell forward. He just leaned down and spoke softly into its ear and said “That’s one” and began to ride down the trail.””Later on, about halfway down, the mule stumbled a little and my husband nearly fell off. When he repositioned himself he leaned down and spoke softly into its ear and said “That’s two” and continued riding.”

“When we got to the bottom the mule stopped suddenly and my husband jerked forward. He quietly got off, pulled out his gun and shot the mule. I asked him how he could be so cruel, and he just looked at me and quietly said “That’s one”.

 

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