Joke Of The Day

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Nov 252009
 

First-year students at Texas A&M Vet school were attending their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, “In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body”. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. “Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life’s tough, but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid!”

Angelina Jolie Hates Obama

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Nov 252009
 

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!


Barack Obama does not have Angelina Jolie’s seal of approval.

“She hates him,” a source close to the U.N. goodwill ambassador, 34, tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now).

“She’s into education and rehabilitation and thinks Obama is all about welfare and handouts. She thinks Obama is really a socialist in disguise,” adds the source.

But don’t expect to see the Salt actress rally against Democrats on Fox News like her staunch Republican father, Jon Voight.

“Angie isn’t Republican, but she thinks Obama is all smoke and mirrors,” the source says.

And those political views are putting her at odds with Brad Pitt, 45, who is a big fan of the president and even went solo to the 2008 election party in Chicago.

“They get in nasty arguments all the time about it,” says the source. “She doesn’t respect Brad when it comes to politics, but, in the end, this won’t tear them apart.”

Source…


Sarah Palin: Congress Never Ceases to Amaze

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Nov 252009
 

Agreed!


Really? A tax on national defense? I hear liberal Congressional proposals and I, like most Americans, wonder if they’re serious. We’re going to put a price tag on security?

With Congress and President Obama spending money on everything at breakneck speed, it’s interesting that they are only now getting nervous about spending – but only when it comes to providing the necessary funds to complete our mission in Afghanistan. They don’t need a new “war tax” to fund a strategy for victory in the war zone. They simply need to prioritize our money appropriately.

I find it telling that the Pelosi-Reid Congress is only cost-conscious when it comes to our national defense. Scary. Nonsensical. Unacceptable.

– Sarah Palin

Source…


Cartoon Of The Day

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Nov 252009
 


This cartoon says it all. The majority of America is against this Health Care Scam, and this obnoxious, bloviating impostor Trojan Horse has hijacked our once great country. It is no different than the Taliban hijacking Afghanistan and forcing their radical beliefs on the people.

I sure hope we can hold on until the French send troops to liberate US.

Computer Terms – Texas Translation

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Nov 252009
 

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter.

LOG OFF: Don’t add no more wood.

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove.

DOWNLOAD: Gettin’ the farwood off the truck

MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin’ the farwood

FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood

RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood

HARD DRIVE: Gettin’ home in the winter time

PROMPT: What the mail ain’t in the winter time

WINDOWS: What to shut when it’s cold outside

SCREEN: What to shut when it’s black fly season

BYTE: What them dang flies do

CHIP: Munchies fer the TV

MICRO CHIP: What’s in the bottom of the munchie bag

MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix’s wife

LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps

KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys

SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives

MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn

MOUSE PAD: That’s hippie talk fer the mouse hole

MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof

ENTER: Northerner talk fer “c’mon in, y’all”

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can’t ‘member what ya paid fer the rifle