Joke Of The Day

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Sep 242009
 

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the preacher of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week.

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the preacher, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

“Ma’am, I couldn’t help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,” he said.

“Why yes,” she replied, “every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church.”

The preacher replied, “That’s wonderful, how much does he send you?”

The old lady said, “$10,000 a week.”The preacher was amazed and said, “Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?”

“He’s a veterinarian,” she answered.

“That is an honorable profession,” the preacher said. “Where does he practice?

The old lady said proudly, “In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno.”

The Funeral

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Sep 232009
 

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.

Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash..

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, ‘I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this.

Whose funeral is it?’

‘My wife’s.

What happened to her?’

The man replied, ‘My dog attacked and killed her’

He inquired further, ‘But who is in the second hearse?’

The man answered, ‘My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.’

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

‘Can I borrow the dog?’

The man replied, ‘Get in line.’

Blonde Joke Of The Day

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Sep 232009
 

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this”. She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says “The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?”

The blonde says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it!