Madonna Should Adopt Obama’s Aunt

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Apr 012009
 

Another classic opinion piece by Ed Anger.

Hey, Madonna: Why go halfway across the world to find somebody living in squalor, when we’ve got a poor African living right here?

Aunt Obama is an illegal alien who lives in the projects in Boston, and was supposed to get shipped back to Ooongaboongaland years ago. OK, Aunt Obama isn’t cute and little and covered in flies. But she’s still a real live African and hey, if Madonna adopted her, they’d both get to visit the White House sometimes, and they’d both love that!

I say why not? If Obama’s aunt was a Mexican, no one would even care! They didn’t deport boozehound Billy Carter or Bill Clinton’s crazy brother, did they? They didn’t ship half the Kennedys back to Ireland. And they’ve all been more trouble than this old broad.

Except she’s been living off the taxpayer’s dime, that is. Her nephew made millions off his boring books but he couldn’t buy her a nice little house? I guess that idea never came up on Obama’s Teleprompter!

The aunt’s lawyer says we can’t send her back because some fights have broken out back home between her tribe and another one, probably over who gets to drive the dead dictator’s 1978 Mercedes this week, or who turned whose wife into a goat.

Speaking of which, that Madonna’s looking pretty bad these days. I never thought she was that great to begin with, but let’s just say Guy Ritchie’s idea of a hot toy for the bedroom must’ve been The Clapper!

Source…

Arlington: Field of Honor

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Apr 012009
 

Arlington: Field of Honor features some little-known facts about the history of the cemetery plus some behind-the-scenes looks at the ceremonial and support activities there.


National Geographic presents a portrait of one of America’s most sacred places. Once little more than a potter’s field, Arlington National Cemetery has become a national shrine and treasury of American history. Now, discover how this revered site came to be, and how it serves as the final resting place for both the famous and obscure, from John F. Kennedy to the Unknown Soldier. Through rare archival footage and captivating, true-life accounts, experience the moving stories of heroes and heroines and witness the daily activities and official rituals of the dedicated staff who strive to honor those who are laid to rest here. From fallen soldiers and daring explorers to political leaders and other honored Americans, the hallowed history of Arlington reveals a powerful portrait of this iconic and venerated landmark.

Joke Of The Day: The Duck Hunter

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Apr 012009
 

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak…. He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged… shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

‘Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be OK. The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot.’

‘What’s the bad news?’ asked the hunter.

‘The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your penis. I’m going to have to refer you to my sister.’

‘Oh, well I guess that isn’t too bad,’ the hunter replied. ‘Is your sister a plastic surgeon?’

‘Not exactly.’ answered the doctor. ‘She’s a flute player in the local symphony and she’s going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don’t piss in your eye.’

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