Joke Of The Day: The New Mechanic

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day: The New Mechanic
Jan 082009
 

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO Paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where Skillful hands would be beneficial he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, Saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.

“The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”

After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career”.

The Wisdom Of Old Men

 Amusing  Comments Off on The Wisdom Of Old Men
Jan 082009
 

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange and blue.

The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

The old man did not bat an eye in his response, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”

 Posted by at 6:59 am  Tagged with:

Joke Of The Day

 Jokes  Comments Off on Joke Of The Day
Jan 072009
 

The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’

The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.’

The third surgeon says, ‘No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’

The fourth surgeon chimes in, ‘You know I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.’

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, ‘You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts – the mouth and the asshole – and they are interchangeable’

Quote Of The Day

 Amusing  Comments Off on Quote Of The Day
Jan 072009
 

The Iranian president delivered a special holiday message on British TV on Christmas Day. The Iranian president said that if Jesus were alive today, he would be standing next to him.

I’m sure Jesus would be wearing an “I’m With Stupid” t-shirt, too. ~ Jay Leno