An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body”.
The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”
The man replies, “My wife.”
In the old country, it is a custom for women to enter virginal and sexually ignorant into marriages arranged by their parents.
In one particular case, an attractive young maid, from a very poor family was wed to a well-off, but relatively unattractive businessman.
When the wedding night finally came, the couple, at the bride’s insistence, stayed in a hotel near her families home. Early in the evening, the harried bride came rushing through the door.
“Mother, Mother!” cried the girl, “He says that we should sleep together!”
“It’s alright, girl, married people sleep together. Now go back before he starts to worry about you.”
“Oh,” said the girl, and returned to her husband who had already begun to disrobe. When she saw his hairy chest, she went running back to her mother.
“Mother, Mother, he is taking off his clothes, and he is covered in hair!”
“It’s alright girl, men have hair on their bodies, don’t let it bother you… Now, get back their before he starts wondering about you.”
When she returns, she finds the man naked for the first time, and sees that he had part of his right foot amputated. She flees, in fright, back to mom.
“Mother, mother, he only has a foot and a half!”
“Stand back, girl!” says the mother, “This is a job for a real woman!”
Have you ever wondered why the letters A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, H are used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs…
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can’t Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.
Enjoy!
To mark the anniversary, we have launched a 30 second viral video, a homage to the brilliant Old Spice advert which has been getting millions of hits on YouTube.
Rosie Jones, 20, was the Page 3 model chosen to front this campaign, after winning over the director in the audition.
As her mum does her hair and make-up, she tells me: “Page 3 changed my life. It’s such an honour to be chosen for this, representing all the fantastic models from the past 40 years.”
